Charles Elwood Gay

by Charles Elwood Gay II July 3, 1990

My father, Charles Elwood Gay, was born Aug. 29, 1908 in Provo, UT. I've been proud to carry his name as my own, as has my own son, Charles Elwood Gay III. My father loved me very much and there was a great bond forged between us which will endure through the eternities.

On Dec. 26, 1967, my father passed away from heart failure. I was only 13 at the time and it broke my heart. It has been over 23 years now and I still haven't totally gotten over it. My father had been sick for several years, and had been hospitalized several times previously with hear problems. However, even though his death was not a total surprise, it was a very traumatic experience for a 13-year-old boy who was closer to his father than most kids.

My father was not a perfect example to me and my brothers and sister, nor am I a perfect example to my children. Though born under the covenant, baptized as a child and taught the principles of the gospel in his home, my father chose not to live the gospel. Though I know little of his early life, he seems to have had a very independent and somewhat rebellious streak. He often told a story of how he was scared out of going to Church. When he was around 12 years old, at the end of a large Church meeting, it was announced that he would be giving the closing prayer. He had no previous warning and it upset him badly. He often referred to this experience when we asked why he wouldn't go to Church with us.

I remember many special family times with my father. He always made Christmas special for us. thought we had little money, we always had gifts at Christmas, and it was a special time to be together. My father loved to bar-b-que, and I loved to help him. I can vividly remember mixing the bar-g-que sauce for him, wrapping the potatoes, in aluminum foil, and running between the kitchen and patio for any needs he had. I love to bar-b-que also, and I love to eat out, and just eat in general. These things I picked up from my father. We occasionally went out to dinner as a family when the budget would allow it. I loved to go to San Francisco with my Dad. He often had work there and it gave us the opportunity to visit there frequently. This is something I often do with my family, as my work also takes me there from time to time.

My family was a very affectionate man. His kids knew he loved them. Hugs and kisses were a big part of family life. As I got to know Dad's family better as a college student at B.Y.U. I learned that this show of affection was a family trait. I am happy my father passed this along to me. I know my kids have no doubt they are loved as they receive this same affection daily, and are told they are loved by their parents. I'll always be grateful that I hugged and kissed my dad the last time I saw him. I had no idea it would the last time in this life.

I recently had the opportunity to talk to my Mom (Elaine) about my dad. She said that he was a very handsome man with a charismatic personality. Both she and my father had previously been married. Both were single when they met in Redding, Calif. in 1948. At the time Dad worked for the Southern Pacific Railroad, and around 1953 changed his occupation to a sprinkler fitter where he worked with his brother Grant in the San Francisco Bay Area.

Around this time my folks were living in San Jose, Calif. near Dad’s sister Maud. Bless her heart, Maud sent over the missionaries and Mom and my sister Betty joined the Church. I was born shortly thereafter in 1954, and we 3 boys were each baptized when we were 8 years old.

Dad rarely attended Church, but I know he was proud of his heritage and felt it was very important that his children were active in the Church. He saw to it that we attended our Church activities.

Asking my mother what good things my father would like to be remembered for she said that he was a very intelligent and sensitive man. He loved his children very much, and helped bathe and care for them as babies and small children. He was especially sensitive to their needs when they were ill and would stay up with her doctoring and caring for them all night if necessary.

He taught his children the value of work, and that everyone should work for his keep. Each person had to do his chores. He was very generous (when money was available) in buying things for his family, and liked to take them out when possible. Only one grandchild was born prior to his death, Andrew Lillie, whom he loved very much. He now has fifteen grandchildren and two great—grandchildren.

I am eternally grateful for the pioneer heritage my father passed on to me. We come from a great line of people and a wonderful family. Through my father the gospel has come to me and my family. I know this pleases my father greatly.

The night my father passed away I had an unforgettable experience that has had a far-reaching impact upon me and my family. My mother and 2 brothers and I had been out of town and were returning home in the early evening. I suddenly announced to the family that I was going on a mission. I went on and on about it. I was very excited. It was something I had never really talked much about before, but at this time I was suddenly very animated about it. I was boring everyone with my excitement after a while, SO I shut up. Later that night we arrived home to discover Dad had passed away earlier that day. Several days later it occurred to me that through the spirit of the Holy Ghost, one of Dad’s dying wishes was that I go on a mission. I set a definite goal at that time, one which could have easily been blocked by many barriers, but a goal that I gratefully accomplished. I thank my Dad for inspiring me to reach this goal which has been the source of a multitude of blessings for me and my family.

My father’s temple work was done on March 12, 1970 in the Oakland Temple. I feel he is growing in the gospel in the spirit world and I earnestly look forward to seeing him again.